Work: Rants

This is going to be super short, (bitter)sweet, and to the point.

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen 3 tweets from me that sum up this rant:

Let me start by saying: I love my job for the most part.  The pay is decent.  The job is entertaining and challenging enough to keep me occupied (see my other project posts).  The people are largely good.  I get along with people for the most part.

But there are some things that annoy me to no end.

A lot of the time I end up writing auctions for GovDeals.  A LOT of the time.  More often than not, it seems.  It’s very frustrating.  I’ve also been working in-district for over 5 years now (January 2011 Part time, July 2011 Full Time).  I’ve been a line-item on the budget since July 2011. My employment is not contingent on me selling equipment.  My boss frequently makes the joke that I justify my employment by selling equipment.

I take offense to this.

I take offense to this because I worked very hard to get good at what I do.  I solve problems effectively and efficiently.  I present solutions that help the district (Zabbix, Help Desk, the transition from BlackBerry to Android).  I went to school for this.

To tell me, even jokingly, that my employment is based on my ability to sell things is…

Insulting.

Frustrating.

Demeaning.

I do not know what to do about it.  Every time I make a fuss, I am told to either suck it up or just accept it as a joke.

My own self respect and valuation of my self worth cannot handle the constant derision.

I should be able to handle it and go with it.

I cannot.

And it is resulting in burn out.

And I do not know how much more of it I can take before I become so burned out that I no longer effectively do my job.

It makes going in to work a chore rather than a good part of the day.

And yet I do not know what to do.

Other than to suck it up, internalize it, write about it, and seek other employment.

Which sucks.

I like it here.

Sigh.

I don’t know.

All I do know is:

selfcare

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