On: Abject Failure

Lately it seems everything I put my hands on has resulted in complete, total, and abject failure.  There is honestly no other way to put it.  I wish there was.

My family does not ask a lot of me, honestly.  When they do, I’d like to think I can come through for them and help them out and keep them up and running like they try and do for me. They really only ask me for I.T. related help.  This is squarely within my realm of expertise.  I should be able to handle it.  I spec’d out a build on CyberPowerPC: it turned out to be a complete crapfest.  I did read reviews and get feedback about the company: it was largely positive with a few odd-man-out reviews that seemed really craptastic.  I figured those were disgruntled people.  They might have been, but they weren’t wrong.  The PC didn’t work from Day 1, and customer support was even worse.  Fine.  We returned it for a refund (which was even more of a hassle) and decided I’d build a PC from scratch for my brother.  The list of parts is here.

We get the parts, and I assemble it.  All is going well so far.  Everything is in the box and it starts up first-shot. Woohoo! I install drivers, and I put it through a few hours of benchmarking and system stability testing with Aida64 (yay free trials).  It ran fine for 10 hours or so before I stopped it.  I ran Star Swarm on it.  It ran fine for the 6 minutes it runs for.  Yay.  I turn the machine off and go to work.  I come home and do a more rigorous test: it fails nearly instantly.  I try Doom. It fails within 3 minutes of launch (a minute of action).  I go back to Star Swarm: fails within 30 seconds. I run Aida64 again.  It fails within minutes.  Every time it is a simple hard lock of the system: solid, random color across the entire screen.  What the hell.

I put my current desktop video card in the computer: everything runs fine.  I am dejected.  These parts come fairly well reviewed too.  I did my due diligence.  Everything should have been fine.  It is not.

And once again I am left having let people down.  And I am sick to my stomach over it.

I have since ordered a replacement video card out of pocket.  Brandon will get that part.  I will keep the PowerColor part when I eventually get the warranty parts ordered.  Fun on a bun.


I ordered parts for my boat (a mounting plate for the registration numbers and registration sticker) since I didn’t feel comfortable putting them directly on the boat.  The plate is too small.  It won’t fit the registration numbers in the format NJ wants, let alone with the 3 inch gap that the state requires between the numbers and the registration sticker.

I have since ordered a custom plate, but come on man.  This is supposed to be the easy part. Replacement HDPE sheet is coming tomorrow.  I’ll custom cut it at that time.  Problem will be solved.  It’s still frustrating.  I am trying to do things right here and it’s just a constant battle.


I installed a hitch light system for my 2008 Ford Escape since I have a hitch on there.  I figured it’d be nice to have when I put stuff into a UHaul or something.  It worked fine the day it was installed.  I tested it again yesterday (as part of my 1st-of-month car inspection stuff) and it isn’t working.  I don’t know why yet.  I am 99% certain it’s because I fucked something up, because that’s pretty much the MO for me lately.

Update: I pulled the harness out of the car and it’s still shorted.  There is no damage to the cable.  CURT has come through (despite ordering the part being just over a year old) and is sending me a replacement part.  Probably the best customer service experience I’ve had to date this year.


So there we have it.  The three major things I’ve been working on the past 2 months have all resulted in complete, total, abject failures.  Everything is a mess.  Nothing is right.  I am just so spent, I am at the end of my rope and the end of my wits and I do not know what else I can do here.  I’m trying to push through it but it just seems like every time I get 2 steps forward I end up falling 10 steps backwards.  There are more projects to do, but I just don’t have the energy.  I was supposed to learn some Laravel: I don’t have the time because I’m continually cleaning up messes.  I don’t feel like I’m going to work my way to any of my 2017 goals.

I am frustrated, my temper is short, and I’m tired.

So very tired.

-M, out.

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